UK Cover for Wish You Were Dead

Creepy good?

Why the Tardy Boys is NOT a Series

There are five Tardy Boys books, but the Tardy Boys is not a series. This is not the first time I’ve written a not-a-series for readers in grades 3-5. I once wrote a 17-book not-a-series even though each book began with Help! I’m Trapped in… and the same characters appeared in each book.

When I asked my publisher why it wasn’t a series, I was told, “because the books aren’t numbered.”

I had to rewrite the first book in the Tardy Boys not-a-series about 150,000 times. Every time Ithough the book was done, my publisher would read it and tell me all the things that were wrong with it. For instance, originally I wanted to call the main characters the Pardy Boys, but my publisher said no because Pardy Boys implied something they didn’t feel was appropriate. I never found out exactly what.

The funny thing is that, while at the time I was pretty annoyed with my publisher’s seemingly arbitrary decisions, in retrospect I can see why they objected. Here is a VERY partial list

of the things my publisher said no to. Some I now agree with; some I still don’t.

1) Placing the Magic Toilet Bowl inside the Mysterious Toilet Stall at The School With No Name and sending the Pardy Boys back in time whenever they pulled a sheet from the Phantom Toilet Stall Dispenser.

2) Having the Pardy Boys travel back to the Revolutionary War to meet Timmy Meeker, Sarah Bishop, Johnny Tremain, and Willy Freeman.

3) Having Johnny Tremain put down Timmy Meeker because Johnny’s book won the Newbery Medal whi

le Timmy’s book only won a Newbery Honor, and having Timmy put down Sarah Bishop because her book only won something called the Hans Christian Andersen Award.

4) Having Timmy Meeker, Sarah Bishop, Johnny Tremain, and Willy Freeman all put down the Pardy Boys because their book was only a paperback original and never won a single award.

5) Having the Pardy Boys have the last laugh because Timmy Meeker, Sarah Bishop, Johnny Tremain, and Willy Freeman were stuck using chamber pots until they realized that they were stuck using chamber pots, too because it would be 97 years later when Dr. Thomas Crapper (this is no joke, that was his real name) invented the flush toilet.

9) How the Germans say no.

If I ever write a series for middle-grade students again, I’ll probably have the same sorts of disagreements, but next time I’ll keep in mind that given some perspective, things we think are funny might not always be that way.

School Visit News

Dear Todd,

Thank you so much for your wonderful presentations at Derby last Wednesday. I've had terrific feedback from both teachers and students. The Writing Workshops were both practical and inspiring. Connie Chapin, our 6th grade English teacher (and Head of the English Department) was very impressed with how you related to the 6th graders at exactly the right level for them. The large presentations in Larson Hall were funny, informative and perfectly tailored to each of the groups you were addressing. I loved the way you mentioned books that you enjoy, written by other writers. I've had lots of requests from students, teachers and even a parent, for the titles that you mentioned.

Thanks again for a great visit! Your books are flying off theshelves--always the best sign that the visit was a huge success.

Best regards,Judy

Judy Simons
Coordinator of Library Services
Derby Academy
56 Burditt Ave., Hingham, MA 02043
781-749-0746 ext. 57

German Graphic Novel of Can't Get There From Here

From Germany comes news that their version of Can't Get There From Here (German title: Asphalt Tribe) is now a graphic novel. The artist, Stefani Kampmann, worked on it for something like two years and did a meticulous job. Bravo, Stefani!

FAMOUS is Now Available

Suppose I told you that I was once famous. People on the street recognized me. They asked for my autograph, and to pose for photos with them. Suppose I told you that there were stories about me in magazines and newspapers, and interviews on TV. Suppose I told you I rode in limos, flew first class, and hung out with movie stars. Cool, huh? Being famous like that. All that attention. All those people knowing who I was. I mean, can you imagine? Only whatever you imagine, is so not the way it really is.

FAMOUS in Vietnam

With the official US pub date still five days away, FAMOUS has garnered its first translation deal ... in Vietnamese.

School Visit Update

"Your visit was wonderful. Our students were so engaged and are still talking about you and your books. The teachers who attended your writing workshop loved your approach and decided to use some of your techniques in their classes. As usual, you were able to connect with our students and captivate their attention with your humor and inspiration. Our students felt very comfortable with you and even our reluctant readers continue to come to the library seeking your books. We thank you again for a very special day that was both informative and fun." Rosemarie Scutero, Literacy Resource Specialist, Louis M. Klein Middle School, Harrison, NY (914) 630-3059, scuteror@harrisoncsd.org