Sunday, September 30, 2012
Morton Rhue Awarded Golden Zucchini Award
Morton Rhue Wins Golden Zucchini Award!
Dateline: Dornbirn, Austria
Acclaimed Author Morton Rhue has been awarded the Golden Zucchini for writing literature most likely to be enjoyed by vegetables. The Mayor of Dornbirn presented the author with the Zucchini but said that Rhue would have to paint it gold himself.
Saturday, September 29, 2012
Cowgirls Originally Come From Bavaria
At the Bavarian International School outside Munich Morton learns that contrary to popular belief, cowgirls do not come from the American west. This becomes evident when he discovers that many traditional dirndl-wearing girls at the school wear such boots. Long before the advent of the Wild West, Bavarian cowboys and cowgirls ranged through mountains here.
- In Munich yesterday Morton can across this author who has been waiting to hear from a publisher about a book.
Morton has been spending a great deal of time in the car and has had time to brush up on his German. He can now say “In 500 Metern biegen Sie links ab,” which means, in 500 meters prepare to make a left turn and “Neuberechnug” which means recalculating. He is now trying to memorize „Sie sich bitte um und gehen zurück in die andere wa“ which means please turn around and go back the other way.
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Author Drops A-Bombs!!!!
"Rhue"ful Author Accidentally Drops A-Bombs in German Schools: resulting in explosions of hilarity
Sometimes the best moments are the unplanned ones. Author Rhue is promoting Über uns Stille, which is partly memoir, and in which the author spends some time describing his youthful fixation with developing the perfect cannonball whenever a pool was handy.
It turns out that the German translation for cannonball is something like arschbombe. If you separate that into two words and change a few letters (substitute ss for rsch) you get what German students are hearing, and cheering, much to the chagrin of their teachers.
Sometimes the best moments are the unplanned ones. Author Rhue is promoting Über uns Stille, which is partly memoir, and in which the author spends some time describing his youthful fixation with developing the perfect cannonball whenever a pool was handy.
It turns out that the German translation for cannonball is something like arschbombe. If you separate that into two words and change a few letters (substitute ss for rsch) you get what German students are hearing, and cheering, much to the chagrin of their teachers.
Monday, September 24, 2012
Rough Start in Germany
Morton Rhue being force fed cheesecake and cherry pie by sinister journalists yesterday near Frankfurt. Today was also trying was Mr. Rhue discovered that the talk he'd prepared for schools in Germany was, er, not well-received by the first school. Later Mr. Rhue said he knew he was in trouble when even he found the speech boring as he gave it. Thus he learned that no matter how often you practice your speech alone before you give it, you never really know how it will go until you are before the audience. What followed were several panicked hours of rewrites before the afternoon school visit, in which most of the original speech was thrown out and revised. Luckily the afternoon session went better, after which Mr. Rhue vanished into a beer garden and has not been seen since.
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Morton Rhue Visits Germany to Promote Über Uns Stille
Well, I'm back in Germany being Morton Rhue again. It's always a bit of a surprise. Today I found myself touring a reconstructed old German village with a guide, 4 journalists, a publicist, and two book sellers. The tour provides a backdrop for the photos that accompany the media stories. We even rode around for a while in a horse-drawn carriage. This never happens in the US (tours, multiple journalists, horse rides), and I almost forgot to sign copies of Über Uns Stille (The Stillness Above) with Morton's name and not my own. Also, I have to get used once again to answering when people say Morton and not Todd. I also have to get used to eating a lot because there are lots of promotion/meals, plus every time you sit down with a journalist there seems to be cake and coffee. Some of the faces are familiar. I have travelled many times before with Johanna, the publicist from Ravensburger and she is great. And the Bollingers, who own bookshops around Frankfurt, are always lovely.
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